Sometimes finding happiness feels tricky in this day and age.
You may want a partner at a soul-deep level.
You may want someone to see you the way you see them.
You may wish someone would give your relationship a second, third, fourth shot.
And when you can’t see it working out in the next few hours, days, or weeks, it gets tricky to keep your focus on happiness.
But, it’s not impossible.
No, in fact, it’s simple, but takes practice and resisting whatever momentum you’ve built up so far.
See our emotions carry a certain momentum with them.
If you’ve been upset, heartbroken, or just freaking frustrated for a while, that’s got a fair bit of momentum with it.
Goading yourself to be happy is like putting some mismatched concealer over a terrible hormonal break out (been there, done that) — it only calls MORE attention to how “off” the situation is.
You know what can snap you right out of that pattern, though?
Playfulness, ease, reminders of how special you are.
So here’s a little bit of that for you.
And here’s my promise: this isn’t ONLY so you can feel better (although I do seek that, of course).
When you feel better, you breathe deeper, you smile more genuinely, you’re better able to be the REAL you.
And THAT is when you are better able to find and choose a partner who is truly a match for you.
Sometimes when a person gets caught in what they don’t have (example: an awesome relationship), it can feel like you’re stuck in a place of lack.
Let me ask you, would you feel totally connected to lack if some multi-million dollar windfall just fell into your lap?
If you felt super rich and provided for and taken care of, how would you feel?
You probably would still want a sexy bedmate and partner, but you might guess that your cosmic windfall would take the sting off, right?
So, here’s some clarity:
Once a woman was standing outside her small house in a small village outside a bustling city in India.
She was speaking with a man about his philanthropic efforts in the area.
A journalist was present, documenting for international coverage.
As the man walked away, the journalist approached the Indian woman asking, “Did you know that you just spoke with Bill Gates, the richest man in the world?”
The woman looked at the journalist nonplussed (and I imagine with just a bit of shade) and said, “Every person from the West is rich.”
From her perspective, there was no difference between you and Bill (or Melinda) Gates.
Indeed, if you earn $37,000 or more a year, you’re in the top 4% of global wage earners.
At the very basic level, our access to information, communication, and luxuries (like air conditioning, heating, workout equipment, eyebrow waxes) only dreamed of 100 years ago (and in many parts of the world today) is incredible.
And yes, not all in the West have all of those treats, but more people every day are gaining access as technology becomes increasingly cheaper.
You are RICH.
You are free.
You have the ability to read what you want, go where you want, speak with whom you want, love whom you want.
You have the ability to become a better version of yourself every single day and your partner is on the way.
Today, practice remembering how rich, taken care of, and free you are.
See if it doesn’t bring a smile to your face or flirty-ness to your step.
See if it doesn’t make you want to dance it out in your bedroom, or set up a date to explore your great city (with a friend or potential date).
Even better, see if it doesn’t make you excited to treat your friend to her coffee, give extra to a charity you believe in, or volunteer at the animal shelter.
When you feel rich, it feels easy to be generous and loving.
And when you feel rich, it feels fun to give compliments (reminder: men LOVE compliments).
So try it out, and let me know what you feel inspired to be and do when you connect with your richness.